I don’t know about anyone else, but sometimes I get trapped in dwelling on all the things I think I missed. That fundraiser, my own bedroom, friends I see all the time, knowing what my week will look like, older siblings, etc…
I always believed that our family was pretty bad at taking pictures of the things of what we were doing. I remember as a young girl crying at night about it, was I being overdramatic? Yes. But that’s beside the point.
Lately, I’ve been looking through a lot of old photos, even just the ones that I have on my old iPod. And I see all the things that I did take pictures of. Even though I maybe didn’t have a picture or record of every day in my life, I still had memories captured.
So often, doing what I do and living the life I live, I become envious of others (don’t we all?). Whether it’s more space, more friends, seeing people every day, steady work, I could go on. Ever since I can remember, people (yes, I’m talking to you adults) have talked about or said something to Josiah or me along the lines of “just think of all the things you get to see, all you get to do that most kids don’t, and what many people never will.” Not gonna lie, a lot of times when I heard that, it could internally trigger something in my mind thinking that yes, that may be true, but at least you get to have a routine (which, in reality, we probably have more of one than a lot of people).
I often go down a hole, that is neither good nor desirable.
Then there are other times when I can get so annoyed with my peers who haven’t had the chance to go anywhere (that’s my problem, not theirs).
But every once in a while I am reminded of all the little blessings of my life, and all the things that I have had the chance to see. I’ve been to 37 of the 50 states, I have flown on an airplane. I know what it’s actually like to live in a motorhome, play in front of hundreds of people, and move from place to place. I’ve seen the Jelly Belly factory, ridden on an airboat, watched a turtle lay eggs on the side of the road, been to Disneyland, and explored Mount Rushmore. I’ve seen Hollywood, met who knows how many people, been to more concerts than most, had parents who valued quality instruments and gear, and have amazing friends. I’ve met most of my extended cousins, seen where my parents got engaged as well as married, flown in a helicopter, and have eaten at WAY too many restaurants across the country. I’ve spent time in cities, suburbs, small towns, country-sides, and even booming desert ghost towns. I have at least a little experience working in a library, managing websites, taking part in play productions, helping at a farmhouse, and let’s not forget roadie-ing.
It’s really easy for me to focus on all the things I haven’t gotten to do, or the things I don’t have, or what I might’ve done differently. But so often we lose sight of all we have, all we have done, all the little quirks that make us, us. Every little thing is a blessing. Sometimes it’s right in front of you. Sometimes you have to lean in closer. Sometimes you have to look back. Sometimes you have to look forward, but blessings are everywhere. Some are big, some are small, sometimes the small ones become big, and sometimes the big ones seem small. Life is a blessing, every person we come into contact with, every smile, every conversation, every memory, every gift, every breath, every moment. It’s all a blessing.
Everyone’s life is different in some way or another. We all have our own stories. We all struggle with similar things but in different ways. We all have the same Creator, who cared so much to set us free from our faults. We are all loved. We are blessed.
Life is a journey, and we all have different ones. But through it, all the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, the sorrows, and the joys, are small gifts and blessings. Today and every day, remember that blessing, whatever it may be for you. Look for it, search for it. You will find it.
Lots of love, Joy Rachel